A Misty Road I was Taking

Haloo, I'm back.

It's been a while since the last post, ya !!! So happy I can spare a time again on it.
in this post, I'll share about hmmm... how is it to walk in a misty road of my life.
Enjoy reading, everyone 😄😄😄😄

So, setelah perjalanan yang lumayan berat awal tahun ini, I decided to take no more care on anything I cared before. I just want to focus on anything that i want to achieve. There, my new journey had just started. Nevertheless, as you guys know, there's nothing easy on this world, right? that's a valid thing for me either. I tried and I fell, then I tried again and I fell again, till some times. But I never want to give up anymore. I really wanted to see what will happen when I did decide not to give up.

Then, everything started to run smoother and smoother until I felt that I had just healed. I also felt that everyone besides me was really very good persons as they were always there for me whenever I fell and vice versa. I felt the bliss just for those small things. But it all felt as sweet nothing in a flash. It did fluster me out.


I asked my self,
"what was it all?"
"why I feel like nothing?"
"I feel like ash"
"Why do I feel lonely in a crowded room?"

Sometimes I saw them from behind as we walked together, wondering why am I walking behind them, like a pursuer pursuing something unreachable. I tried to figure out, was it me which did something bad till I experience this kind of a pain because of those people that I've regraded as a friend. The lonely feeling really did attack me out of the blue. I really wanted to get off the boat, whatever it takes.

Once again I talked to my self,
"Then what was all the things that occurred in me in that period, they were really great at that time. Are they tired of me? I thought we shared the same thing as we always talked to each other. I thought they'll always there as I always tried to be there for them whenever they need. I thought we were good. I thought we support each other. I thought... I thought we rely on each other. HAHA (bitterly)"

I did not know which option that I should choose. Was it the option that they were fake and I need to take a gap from them or the other side, that they were just tired of me. As I was thinking positively, I chose the second option and sticked in to it for a while. Till, the ruler of this big universe show me the truth harshly. It was like slapped by the hardest thing ever existed and I cried.

I cried heavily, afraid of everything, afraid of this world. Afraid that I would choose the wrong path. Everything seemed uncertain. I did not know which path that I needed to choose. Then, I decided to go away from everything for awhile. It did help me a lot seeing everything clearly. The thing is just, they never really be by my side. It was all just a spark that end in a minute. I wasn't truly important for them.

Lalu, ini semua hanyalah permasalahan tentang bagaimana gue menanggapi perilaku setiap manusia yang related to me. It's all just the matter bagaimana gue bisa lebih bijaksana dalam memilih teman. So, everyone, choosing a friend is not always a bad thing to do. Choosing a friend is one of everyone's defence not to be hurted, not to stay in a painful life.

Sometimes life is like a game with no winner.

*pardon my bad English, have a good day everyone!!

I write not to offense any party, any side or any person. I am just simply shout out my feeling inside. So, readers, whatever comments that you'll give it's validly all your right to say whether it's negatives or positives. Everyone has their own point of view, hence we should respect each other.

HAVE A NICE DAY!!